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As one woman in a committed relationship remarks about her online sexual affairs: "I've had this discussion with my boyfriend and we both agree that as long as it's not with the same person more than twice, it is really masturbation.
It's like reading an erotic story and masturbating to it.
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The private nature of online affairs may make them less painful for the betrayed partner as well.
Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.
Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people.
In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.
In reality, though, the issue of online cheating is more complex—especially when it concerns sexual activities involving actual interaction with other individuals.
In some circumstances, cybersex may in fact help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.